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The Power of Respectful Leadership: Strategies to Eliminate Yelling in the Office

Updated: Dec 20, 2023

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The Power of Respectful Leadership: Strategies to Eliminate Yelling in the Office

According to a recent Gallup Poll, pay/benefits are named as the top reasons employees leave a company. We wrote an exceptional piece here that can help up your game in that regard. As you continue to look at the Gallup Poll data, one of the other top reasons listed for quitting a job is direct management. Goodhire placed that number at 82% based on a recent survey they conducted about the top reasons why a worker would consider leaving their job.

In my professional, and personal experience, I've seen that workers quit their bosses not the company per se. I can personally attest to this as I worked for a company I absolutely loved, and still believe in, but was unfortunately faced with managers that didn't understand that their roles were centered around building leaders, and mentoring as opposed to water cooler chatter, and a barrage of useless meetings. And by the way, there are ways to make meetings more relevant to the company's goals, and respectful of an employee's time.

With that being said, much can improve when an investment in emotional intelligence is continuously made. As a matter of fact, emotional intelligence is a better indicator of success than sheer brain power.

Think about it this way, it doesn't matter how brilliant your ideas are, if no-one will listen to you due to your lack of self-awareness, empathy, and inability to regulate your own emotions. The latter is what we want to talk about today. When mastered within reason, it can lead to respectful leadership that promotes collaboration, and even inspires.

Self-regulation is an integral and crucial component of emotional intelligence, particularly within a professional context. Professionals who possess the ability to self-regulate can effectively manage and control their emotions, enabling them to remain calm, composed, and rational even in high-pressure situations. This skill empowers individuals to make sound decisions based on logic rather than succumbing to impulsive or irrational behavior driven by heightened emotions.

By practicing self-regulation, professionals are better equipped to handle conflicts with diplomacy and maintain positive relationships with colleagues and clients. Furthermore, self-regulation aids in improving one's adaptability and flexibility as it allows individuals to regulate their emotional response when faced with unexpected changes or setbacks. Ultimately, the ability to self-regulate enhances an individual's overall emotional intelligence, making them more resilient, reliable, and effective within their professional environment.

70% is the percentage of managers that say they feel overwhelmed

According to 2022 research from Gartner, 70% of managers feel intense pressure due to new expectations, among other things.

Hybrid work models compound preexisting challenges by underscoring ambiguity, making it harder to gauge where and how they can add value.

These are all reasonable pain points and can be the foundation for a conversation on defining expectations, benchmarks, and responsibilities. Establishing workflows, schedules, and go-to processes, and communication channels can really help cut through ambiguity. Adaptability is key as we continue to move society forward.

What is not acceptable is to pass on one's frustration to direct reports or co-workers. Firstly, the aggressive behavior can destroy trust and respect leading to diminished teamwork and collaboration. It often creates a hostile working environment where employees feel anxious or even fearful, hampering their productivity and morale.

Furthermore, employees who are exposed to toxic workplace behaviors such as yelling often experience a decrease in job satisfaction and increased stress levels. This negative impact on their mental well-being can result in reduced engagement and motivation, ultimately affecting their overall performance.

It also reflects very poorly on the person's leadership skills, signaling to an inability to effectively communicate or manage conflicts professionally. And honestly, you should probably not be in a leadership position until you get the help you need. Feeling empowered to successfully navigate workplace situations while self regulating your emotions are a must.

Sometimes it's just taking a quick break to unplug when you're feeling tense during the work day. I've always found working out before work or during lunch to be highly effective in relieving stress, and burning up excess intense energy. In some cases, there could be an underlying condition you are not aware of that can be managed with a little awareness, and help.

Here are four additional ways to cultivate self management in the workplace, and in life:

Practicing Self-Reflection and Accountability

  • Regular self-reflection is vital for understanding your triggers and improving your reactions. Take time to analyze situations where you feel compelled to yell and assess alternative ways to respond. Hold yourself accountable and consciously choose more constructive approaches when confronted with conflict.

Building a Support Network

  • Surround yourself with a supportive network of colleagues, friends, or mentors who can help you stay on track. They can provide guidance, offer perspective, and hold you accountable. By having a support system in place, you'll feel more motivated and empowered to break toxic habits in the workplace like yelling.

Stick With The Facts

  • Sometimes we make assumptions about a situation or statement based on our biases of the people involved. Check yourself to make sure you are not doing that and are fairly judging uncomfortable situations on its own merit. The mind is a creative tool, and you can be blowing things way out of proportion, which will feed unwanted stress, and facilitate aggressive reactions. Look at the facts and maintain a cool head before you engage.

Tweak Your Diet

  • The consumption of processed foods and refined sugars can lead to unstable blood sugar levels and mood swings, contributing to feelings of irritability and anger. Instead, opting for a diet rich in whole foods such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats can have a calming effect on the mind and body.

  • Additionally, incorporating foods high in omega-3 fatty acids like fatty fish or flaxseed improve mood regulation. Also cut back on the coffee, and other caffeinated beverages. Caffeine is a stimulant, and may exacerbate feelings of agitation and restlessness.

  • Finally, consuming adequate amounts of magnesium-rich foods like spinach or almonds can potentially reduce anger since magnesium plays a significant role in regulating stress response systems within the body.

Remember, breaking toxic behaviors such as yelling at your direct reports, and or colleagues by incorporating self management techniques takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and celebrate progress, no matter how small. With determination and the right strategies, you can create a more harmonious work environment built on respect, collaboration, and understanding. By committing to these changes and seeking professional help when needed, you can transform your life!


About Recruiting Awesome. We are a top rated boutique executive search firm with a hyper focus on confidential and discreet search services globally. We bring a highly personalized touch to your leadership engagements. We network with fresh visionaries, and our projects are never outsourced. You partner with one key contact for the entirety of your search.

We welcome assisting you on your internal leadership opportunities. Do not hesitate in reaching out here. Some of the greatest breakthroughs happen in times like these. If your organization wants to hire results oriented compassionate leaders then our search firm is for you. If you are a leader passively entertaining new opportunities, feel free connect with us. We would love to hear from you.. Let's start this exciting journey together.

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